The Desires of My Heart

I've heard so many people say, "God knows you intimately and He will give you the desires of your heart." I have tasted and seen His goodness more than I could ever imagine, but I have had a difficult time believing in the above statements. I know they are true, but I have recently been thinking, "People are dying here at Tenwek. They are undergoing surgery without anesthesia, suffering inexplainable amounts of pain, and starving. Jesus should be paying more attention to them than to me because I'm merely a short term missionary who can go back to her life in America." 

SO WRONG. 

You know what God keeps telling me? "I love you with the love I have for my son." WHAT?! You mean God loves me as much as He loves Jesus? He has the same love for me that He has for His son, for my sweet Faith suffering from severe burns in the hospital, and for little Bridget at the Kitoben orphanage. I kept thinking that was some sort of statement my heart conjured up to make me feel better. 

NOPE.

That's the amazing, furious, eternally deep, and glorious love that the Father has for ALL of his children. His adopted sons and daughters are not treated as any less than princes and princesses in His Kingdom.

Today I experienced the Father giving me even more of the desires of my heart. He knows me more than I know myself. 

I sat outside on the soft grass at the orphanage - Kitoben Children's Center. I was surrounded by a group of young girls mimicking my every move. We were watching the other girls jump rope as their tattered purple uniforms became even dirtier. Shy little Bridget came over to me and snuggled under my arm.  Abigail, my favorite at the orphanage (what you would label as an "outsider" at the orphanage) sat beside me and took my hand tightly in hers as she rested her head on my side. It started to downpour warm rain as I sat on the muddy, cow-poop-filled grass, watching the girls jump rope as their faces showed pure delight. 

That was the most perfect afternoon - being able to give those children all the attention they'd ever wanted. Jesus allowed me to sit with them for hours, counting how many times they could jump rope, looking at each one of them and telling them how beautiful they are, call them by name, and rub their backs. 

My heart is full and overflowing with love for these children that don't even know their real names. I had to say goodbye to them today. It broke my heart as it ached to be with them forever. I realized that the love I feel for them is only the smallest sliver of the Father's heart for them. His heart pulsates with delight and love for them. I can trust my Creator to take care of them and love them. I pray with all my heart that I will see them again.

Much love from Kenya,

Hunter